Stop thinking of someone that doesn’t reciprocate feelings
If I had a nickel for every girl I’ve felt this exact same way about, I’d probably have almost a dollar maybe. Giving you this advice is completely pointless because it won’t help you at all but: There will be a time when you stop feeling this way. I know it sounds impossible, but one day you will be cynical enough to see her flaws. You have a “platonic concept” of her. You see all the perfection and you’ve created a “new her” in your mind that is utterly perfect. It’s something you can’t really do anything about besides barrel through until you’re over it. If it really is causing you a lot of emotional/mental distress, find something to occupy your mind, it might help speed things up. Getting away from your “reality” helps. Some people use drugs and alcohol to do this but I wouldn’t, nor would I suggest it. I personally skate to stop thinking about girls, but everyone has their own hobby that helps them with things like this. Good luck. -by KonyHawkProSkater
It can be hard to get over the person you like and sometimes looking at their flaws might not work. Remember; you have lot’s of thing wrong with you so would you want someone to stop liking you over them? It makes it so much harder when they are your best friend because you usually don’t go a day without hearing their voice whether it be Skype or a phone call. So “just not thinking about them” can be very hard. -by Chavojon
Here is what you do, when you wake, look into a mirror and look at yourself. I’m not talking about a quick glance either. You stare into that motherfuckers soul. The only limitation to one’s power is himself. So when you stare into your own eyes, I want you to imagine yourself in the position you want to be in. Then the next time you even put one foot outside your fucking door you strive to become a better person in all aspects of your life. That’s how you get motivated, by becoming inspired with your own self, before you can unlock your true potential, you must unlock your true self. -by 13ails58
- Exfoliate first. You can use an exfoliating scrub (ask your sisters, or a girl-friend of yours, they know), or what I’ve come to find works magically, used coffee grounds. Wet your face, use your scrub or your grounds, rub it into your skin to work the gunk out of your pores, and rid your face of dead skin. Rinse, and dry.
- Then cleanse – Use a facial cleanser. Get one that is made for your type of skin. If your face is especially oily, you want an oily one. If it’s dry, go for the drier kinds. There’s something for everyone. What I’m currently using is a little tip I picked up from my sisters. Neutrogena Pink Grapefruit Facial Cleanser. Smells great, feels even better. Leaves your face cleaaaaan. Feels good man. Don’t be ashamed about how womanly this is, they know how to keep their face clean, and the shame of using something this fruity pales in comparison to the confidence boost you get when it cleans you up a bit.
- Last, moisturize. Apply something with salycic acid, and remember that moderation is key. You don’t want to put on too much, it’ll feel gross.
- Also, drink plenty of water, keep your pillow covers clean, and look into things like steaming your face (more on that if requested).
I am not sure how much advice I have for depressed folks I have tried a lot of shit”getting out”, changing routine, medication, learning new things, but nothing helps when everything feels pointless. I suppose the best advice I could give here is that you just have to find something you actually want to do. Forcing yourself to do stuff won’t help as much as the current thing says it will. Hm. Actually, as shitty as it is, depression makes you quite insightful. Think stuff over, write things down, and find something you enjoy. There is my advice. -by Ruse (From the IRC Chat)
Time Management Tips
- Divide a project into manageable chunks.
- Take frequent breaks. Falling back to regroup can help many people recharge and regain focus when things start getting fuzzy or monotonous.
- Clearly identify what you need to do so that you don’t end up wasting time on a project or part of a project that ends up getting shit-canned later on down the road.
Buying a car
- For your first car, buy what you can afford out of pocket – DO NOT take on a loan. Statistically speaking, your first car is the one you’re most likely to destroy anyway. Really, you shouldn’t ever take on a car loan, because by the time you finish paying it off your car will have depreciated over 50% in value.
- Buy something for which the parts are cheap and easily replaceable. I drive a 2000 Saturn SL1, which is my first car. I’ve had it for a little over 2 years now. That thing is so easy to work on, and GM parts are cheap as all hell and easy to find. I highly recommend Ford or GM vehicles; the 1997-2000 model year Saturns are incredibly durable cars if you treat them well.
- Then learn how to work on it yourself. The other day, I noticed my car was idling really fast. Googled around and consulted some knowledgable friends, and they all said it was the idle air control solenoid. Replaced it myself in 15 minutes, and the problem went away.
- Keep up with oil and ATF (automatic transmission fluid, if applicable) changes! Not changing your oil every 3,000-5,000 miles is a guaranteed way to blow your engine up. Get some basic tools (a socket set) and check your spark plugs for wear every 5,000 miles. They should be replaced roughly every 30k.
- Especially if it’s an older car, keep an eye on the dipstick. If it’s leaking or burning oil, you can put off trouble by ensuring that you keep it topped off. Don’t overfill it though.
- Make friends with people who know how cars work.
- When you need work done, call up one of those friends and either have them over or go to their place, and work on it together. Afterwards, buy them food. It’s a hell of a lot cheaper than paying a mechanic, and you will very quickly become comfortable tinkering with your vehicle.
- A manual transmission car may be a little bit more difficult to drive at first, but it carries many advantages, including better gas mileage, less attractive to theft, less maintenance required (on an automatic, ATF has to be flushed and refilled every 15-30k miles depending on the car), you have more control over the car, and once you’ve mastered the art it is much more fun to drive. – fuhry
- Drink water, it makes your pee less stinky, helps keep your breath clean and prevents spontaneous combustion (source, i drink water, have never caught fire*) – Penglishman
- Regularly wash your bedsheets, blankets and pillow cases. Also, make sure guests have clean bedding and fresh towels. A washed up house doesn’t need air sprays and fresheners Its quicker to do dishes a few at a time than to leave them a few days to sit. A smelly washing machine will create smelly clothes. Apple cider vinegar can clear up warts and toe fungus.
- Dandruff is not a huge issue but if there is a lot or a sudden increase then use dandruff shampoo.
- Keep your fingernails out of your mouth. They are very very dirty. If you have an itchy patch that won’t go away, don’t scratch it. Seriously, your nails are very very dirty. – Guttermouth11111
- On your final wipe, there should be no brown on the toilet paper. – nopooponme
- Wash your hands, seriously, you would be amazed at how many people, including redditors don’t do this.
- Floss your teeth, your dentist isn’t telling you this for shits and giggles.
- Brush your tongue when brushing, it will give you better breath. – zipzap21
- Remember, exercise is stress. Its eventually beneficial, but it is still stress on your body. In fact, what you call “getting fitter” is basically your body saying “Aw poop, I gotta divert some resources to deal with this shit that keeps happening to me.”. That’s why consistency is so important. If you only perform significantly stressful exercise once a month, the stress on your body is going to be too small to see significant gains any time soon. That’s also why you have to keep increasing the weights, otherwise once your body gets used to the weights, it’s just gonna chill.You have to give your body the resources to deal with the stress though. Otherwise, your body has to cut resources from somewhere else, or if it can’t, it’ll just not do that much to adjust to the stress. Food is the more obvious resource, but sleep is just as important. Check this infographic  . In particular, I’d like you to look at the average sleep of those famous athletes.What are you waiting for? I just gave you some reasons to eat and sleep more. Get to it! – RHAINUR
- Sports. Football, tennis, soccer, volleyball, basketball, and all that type of jazz help helps keeping a daily dose of being active. It also walking, running, cycling, swimming or chasing Nicholas Cage, our lord and savior. Make sure you keep a balanced schedule of this each week!
- Background Sounds. Listen to a podcast or slow/fast paced music to help you get over the tedious task of exercising.
Getting & maintaining a job
So, I’ve seen way too many of these posts and they’re kind of annoying me a bit. I know each person has a different situation yadda yadda but I can sum up 99% of cases on how to get a job here…
What you need:
- Perseverance and determination – A job won’t come on a plate. You have to go out there and get one yourself
- A quality CV – This basically makes or breaks whether you get an interview
- A genuine desire to work – If you don’t want to be there, they will be able to tell, and they won’t hire you
Ok, so let’s start from the beginning.
Before you even start writing your CV or anything, you need to know what kind of jobs you can and want to do. Not everyone is able/suited to certain things, so I’ve compiled a list of certain jobs that teenagers generally do:
For under 14 year olds
- Dog walking
- Car washing
- Baby sitting (potentially, depending on the laws in your area)
- Lawn mowing/general gardening/household work
- Paper round
14-15 year olds
- All of above
- Dish-washing at family-owned restaurants
- All of above
- Retail – Shop assistant etc.
- Restaurants – Fast food employee, waiter/waitress, cafe employee, barista etc.
- Sports coach
- Hotel maid/bell boy
- Music teacher
I’ve probably missed a few but that’s a pretty standard list.
Your CV (formal name for Resume) is what you hand to your potential employer with any application form/letter of interest. It details your education thus far, experience in employment and your skills/hobbies.
- Make it relevant. Applying to McDonalds? It’s fine to put down the fact you’re JV football captain, but what does it say about you? You’re determined, work hard, a team player.
- To further that, elaborate. Explain some of the things in your CV, don’t just assume your employer will know what it all is and what it means.
- Use proper formatting, make it neat, presentable and unique. Google “CV formats”, try some out, see what you like. Change the colours, font, and whatever. Make it yours.
- Include all the key details they need (Name, phone number, address, references.)
- References – Even if it’s just your mom’s friend who you baby sat for once, get someone who isn’t related to you who would be willing (so, ask them first) to just give a good representation of you if the employer were to call them. Preferably 2 or 3.
- Keep it concise. If it’s not relevant and you can’t see how it is, then leave it out. Try and keep it to a maximum of 2 pages. They don’t want to be reading an essay, just a quick idea of who you are and what you’re about.
Specific stuff to include
- Contact details
- Education details – School, GPA/GCSE or A level grades & predictions, classes taken and individual grades.
- Work experience
- Extra, relevant qualifications – Want to be a piano teacher? It tends to help if you’ve got grade 7/8 in piano.
- A small bio about yourself (personality, relevant attributes, aspirations).
After you’ve written it, it may be worth getting someone (a parent or another adult close to you) to just read over it to make sure you’ve included everything, but also to make sure it’s not too long and you’re not over-exaggerating your own abilities.
So, you’ve decided where you want to apply, you’ve got your CV written and now you need to hand it in. The best way to do it is in person. It shows you’ve given up your own time to go in and hand it in personally. They can also make a first judgement on you – so look presentable. Don’t go in to a smart restaurant in baggy jeans and a hoodie. If you can’t do this, then email/send the application and CV in with a short note saying thank you for reading and you hope to hear from them soon. Make sure you’ve covered everything they need in your CV and any application forms they require.
Once you’ve applied, it may take them a few weeks to respond. If they haven’t replied after 14 days, it is reasonable that you contact them to ask if they have considered your application. Be polite, ask if they have had time to look over it. The chances are they haven’t, as most employers will be kind enough to inform you that you have failed to get an interview, but if they have, and they have decided that you aren’t what they want, don’t be disheartened. Don’t be rude, because you can always re-apply at a later date. Just continue onto the next application.
After the initial 14 days wait, wait another 7 days for a reply to call/message them again. A final call could be warranted after a month or so, but if they have not replied to you after that, chances are they don’t want you.
You should be applying to 2 or 3 places at once anyway, so that’s fine. If not, get applying to the next place now!
Ok, you’ve finally got an interview. They liked your CV, they just need to hear it from you yourself, and why you want to work for them. Some companies will do phone interviews, others will sit you down in a back room or meeting room and talk to you face to face. It depends, but the approach is the same.
- Be calm – Chill, you’ve got this far. They like you. They just want to be sure you’re the right person for the job.
- Be honest – Seriously. Don’t lie. If they ask you about criminal convictions or something, and you have one, tell them. And don’t try and justify it, because that makes you sound like you haven’t learned.
- Don’t prepare answers word perfectly – It makes you sound robotic. Sure go over a few questions and answers in your head and have a rough idea of what you’re going to say, but don’t practice them like a speech, it is obvious when you do this, and it’s quite off-putting, even if it does show you want to do a perfect interview.
- Be enthusiastic – SMILE. Sound interested, ask questions too! If you’re not sure about the role you’ll be doing, ask. The interview will be happy that you’re not just nodding and going “yes sir”. They’re human too.
- For a some more tips, click here . (Although ignore the one about perfecting answers, again, it makes you sound robotic and overly-rehearsed).
Typically the interview will give you a rough idea of when they’ll get back to you – and they nearly all do, even if you’re rejected at this stage. If they give you a time span of say a week, and it’s been almost 2, then by all means contact them to inquire about where you stand. But don’t do it as soon as the clock strikes midnight the day after they were supposed to call, people do forget, or run out of time.
Again, if you’re rejected at this stage, don’t fret. You can always apply again, and there’s plenty of other places to apply to as well.
Not getting fired
Woo! You got the job, you’re finally earning your own money. Now, dear god you don’t want to get fired, right? Well, it’s quite simple…
- Follow the rules. If the boss says no texting at work…don’t text. Duh.
- Always give your all – This has saved me. I’ve broken and bent some rules at work, and have been in a lot of trouble, but my boss acknowledged that I do work hard and gave me a second chance because of it. If you’re lazy, they’ll have no qualms about firing you.
- Don’t ask for raises. You’ll get one in good time, if you work hard. Although there is an exception to this rule…
- Know your rights. If you’re being underpaid – tell your boss. Confront them. If you feel you’re being harassed by a co-worker, tell the boss. If it’s the boss, go to his superior. And so on. Don’t just sit down and take it, because you’ll be miserable, and it will reflect in your work.
If you persist and genuinely want a job, you will find one. There are always people looking to hire, you just have to find them. You won’t always be what they want, and they won’t always be what you want, but you’ll find something.
- Know your obligations – If you need to pay tax or report to certain authorities or whatever, be aware of this. Fill out the tax forms and whatever. Chances are you won’t be paid enough, but be sure to check. Your employer should know, but ask your parents as well as it may change something in their health insurance plan (I have no idea if that’s possible, yay for the NHS).
- Read the contract before signing it. If you get given a lengthy contract to read and sign, ask for some time to go over it. Don’t feel pressured into signing something before you’ve fully read it and understood it. Ask questions if necessary. __________________________________________________________
The CV/Interview etc. parts are for the more formal jobs – retail/dining etc.
If you’re looking for a job as a babysitter or something more casual, then create fliers – similar to CVs although focusing far more on your skills specific to the job, and experience – and hand them out. Get your parents to inform their friends you’re looking to do whatever and try and spread the word. Unless of course your client asks for a CV, in which case you provide one.
If the worst comes to the worst, just ask your parents if their friends or your neighbours have any thing they’d be willing to pay you $5/hour to do, like raking leaves or something.
- Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways by Susan Jeffers. The world’s foremost producer of personal development and motivational audio programs gives you the tools to face the fears that hold you back.
- The Difference Maker by John C. Maxwell. Don’t let the Christian stuff get in the way, this guy has a solid outlook.
- Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill. If you like Jim Rohn you’ve heard of this guy and this is his seminal work. A lot of great insight into goal setting.
- Change or Die: The Three Keys to Change at Work and in Life by Alan Deutschman. A couple of great case studies on what actually helps people change. Change your surroundings and who you associate with and you can’t help it.
- Also reading Ian Flemings James Bond novels really puts you in the mindset of a badass. This is what finally got me taking cold showers.