Social

SOCIAl

  1. How do I make friends?  The biggest thing you have to learn is to not think about how you look to others. Say whatever you want, be yourself. There are always people that will be friends with you, but no one will ever get to know you if you hold back and are shy and don’t say anything. -by adc28
  2. Do you see the girl you like in that group? Yes? Oh look you know some of the people there. You’ll make new friend and get closer to your crush.
  3. That girl over there looks sad. She’s in one of your classes and you hear she is a geek. Aren’t you a geek? Yeah go talk to her. And 5 months later you have a bestfriend! -by chavojon
  1. Best way to start a text conversation : How about a simple, “Haven’t talked to you in a while, what’s up?” Us girls aren’t as complex as you think we are. I, personally, don’t mind a concise “hey.” Depends on the person, I guess. -by TheSoccerKitten

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Basic Tips

 

  • Mirror actions (small ones only – toe point direction, percentage time spent making eye contact, 1/5-1/10th of the hand gestures)
  • Make inflections and various pitch/tone changes in your voice to make stories more interesting.
  • Smile appropriately, at a level slightly more than theirs (~10-20% more, people respond by mirroring you and making an expression can cause related emotions).
  • Reflective statements instead of silent listening – where you repeat parts of what they just said as you “I acknowledge this story, please continue”.
  • Include silences, of short time frame, within your stories (~1 second). Don’t rush your words!
  • Avoid the trap of holding on to that awesome question/response/etc you just thought of. If the conversation moves past it – LET IT GO! It will consume your thoughts if you just try to lead back to it. Simultaneously, remember those silences from last point? That lets other people get those epic questions/responses in and feel satisfied.
  • For a content topic, make sure to be sensitive to the level of relationship you have with the person. You can talk about immediate environment with anyone – the bar you’re at, your workplace, etc. Related to this is trying to talk about content related to experiences you want in the future with the person. For example, talk to someone about sex if you want to have sex with them (but don’t open with it unless you’re really good looking, as you’ll need to build rapport before any conversation related to sex). You want to become friends with that male colleague and find it difficult? Share a common interest in a sport or video game or hobby and progress from there to a sports bar, gaming night, or shared activity.
  • Ask clarifying questions! People have lots of interesting stories, but some require some coaxing along in order to get the whole thing. Ask about details you find interesting, and see how they respond.
  • Summarize! This is a great way for someone to know you’re actually listening to what they say, which should make them feel more comfortable with you and like you more. Additionally, when you feel you are about to hit a lull but want to keep the conversation up, you can use a summary as a segway to either introduce a new topic or think of some secondary questions related to the already discussed material.
  • FORD. Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams.Four easy topics to get a conversation with someone going. Ask about their family. Ask what they do for work. Ask what they like to do for fun. Talk about their dreams. This really lubricates conversations well.

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Jedi Mind Tricks: 17 Lesser Known Ways to Persuade People 

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